Dated Tue, 29 Dec 1998
This is a random W.A.R. fic that I found whilst cleaning out my disk. I finished it up whilst I shouldst have been doing mine English homework. Forsooth! This was much more fun. ::grin:: SO here it is: it's old, and scary, and I basically just fixed some punctuation and added a "finished" date.
All's Fair in Love and W.A.R.- But Some Stuff's Just Bad Taste
By Peggy, starring the Peeples in her Head
Disclaimer: Me no own. Please no sue.
Archivers: You on crack. Ask me first.
PsychoKat pulled the unmarked black utility van off to the side of the Quest compound's private drive.
"You guys ready?" she asked over her shoulder.
"You know it," replied Kateri, dropping a pair of headphones over her head and plugging them in to an outlet among the thousands of blinking lights and switches on the wall of the van.
"Pegasus, are you sure you want to go through with this?" PsychoKat asked her other, more nervous companion.
Pegasus nodded and slipped the tiny radio transmitter into her ear.
"Somebody's gotta do it. I mean, we came all the way out here, and everything! Kateri can't do it- she has to work surveillance. 'Cause she's, like, the only one who understands all this fancy equipment and stuff," she said, gesturing confusedly at the control panels and other equipment. "And you're the only one who could possibly out-drive them, because you know, like, all the roads an alleys and stuff. So if we need to make a quick getaway to protect the evidence, it would be stupid to have you on the inside. And that leaves, you know, me."
"She can do math!" Kateri commented sarcastically.
"Leave her alone," scolded PsychoKat.
But Pegasus didn't notice. She was lost in thought. "What am I looking for, again?"
Kateri sighed and turned to adjust some instruments. Pegasus grabbed her ears as a high-pitched whine cut in through her communicator. "Aaah!" she wailed.
PsychoKat bolted up and smacked Kateri's hand away from the controls. "Cut that out, you bully!" Kateri glared at her. PsychoKat sighed and whispered, "She may be a ditz, but she has her moments. And she is the only one we can get to do this."
"Why don't we just forget about it, then?" Kateri hissed. "We might as well give up now."
PsychoKat glared at her. "Remember the Cause!"
Kateri rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, all's fair in love or W.A.R."
"And he very seldom plays fair in love. We at W.A.R. can hardly be expected to just let him scar all of those attractive and powerful women for life by disappearing and reappearing unexpectedly."
Kateri grinned. "All right, then. For the Cause, I can even put up with HER."
PsychoKat explained to Pegasus once again the plan: "You sneak into the compound. We don't know if radio communication will be possible. If not, fine. If it is, keep us updated on everything. We think they're all out, but if you see anyone, abort the mission and get out A.S.A.P."
Pegasus nodded, then shook her head. "What am I looking for again?"
"Any evidence of him and any of the women on the List having had any type of ... er... encounters."
Pegasus nodded, then shook her head. "What list?"
Even PsychoKat's patience was near the breaking point. "The LIST! The one you MEMORIZED!"
"Calm down, dear," said Kateri, her voice dripping with honey as she placed an arm around PsychoKat's shoulders. "Remember the Cause."
PsychoKat glared at her.
"Oh, right, THAT list!" Pegasus exclaimed. "OK, I'm ready now."
"Finally," Kateri and PsychoKat hissed in unison.
Pegasus snuck down the hall and up the stairs to his room. Peeping around the corner, she made sure all was clear. "Guys?" she whispered.
"Everything OK in there, Pegasus?" Kareri asked.
Pegasus nodded, then remembered that Kareri couldn't hear that. "Yeah," she whispered. "All clear. I'm entering his room."
She tiptoed across the thick shag carpeting.
Suddenly, she was startled by a low voice.
"Well well," Race murmured, sauntering into the room. "What do we have here?"
"Um..." Pegasus mumbled. "I... uh... came to check the water meter?"
"Oh really," Race continued, slipping a muscular arm around her shoulders.
"Meter reader, eh? Would you care for a drink?"
Pegasus tiptoed out onto the lawn. Holding her communications gear in one hand, and her burglar tools in the other, she looked around carefully before darting to where the truck was concealed by overhanging honeysuckle bushes.
Sliding open the door and stepping in, she took her seat.
PsychoKat noticed that she looked a bit... disheveled.
"Everything go okay?" she asked, somewhat suspicious.
"Fine," Pegasus nodded, giggling a little. "It went great."
Kateri glanced at PsychoKat. "Um, Pegasus, did you... get any of the information we were looking for?"
"I got some," she said, pulling a list out of her pocket and handing it to Kateri. "This is his 'victory' list."
Kateri whistled as she rifled through the pages. "Looks like most of our womyn are on here, all right," she told PsychoKat. "Looks like you're going to have another star-studded week in therapy."
"Who do I get to counsel this time?" PsychoKat asked, taking the list. "Hm... I thought she'd be on there... yeah, that's to be expected..." She looked up. "Kateri!"
"Hmm?" Kateri asked, nonchalantly.
PsychoKat pointed to a name on the list. "See you at ten?"
"What?" replied Kateri, confused. "Let me see that. HEY!"
"What?" asked Pegasus, relieved that they seemed to not want to ask her any questions about why she had been gone so long.
"Consorting with the enemy, eh?" PsychoKat teased, standing on a chair and dangling the letter just out of Kateri's reach.
"Gimme that!" Kateri yelled, grabbing at it unsuccessfully.
"I see he has it underlined," PsychoKat laughed gleefully. "Does that mean something special?"
"It means he's supposed to call her back," Pegasus answered, oblivious. "The whole key's right there on the front page."
"I think I'm gonna have to report this to Ina-chan," PsychoKat grinned, still holding the papers just out of Kateri's reach.
Kateri growled. "Oh, yeah? Look at page three."
PsychoKat flipped through the pages. "What the..."
"Who's talking to Ina-chan NOW?" Kateri asked, crossing her arms and smiling smugly.
"NO FAIR!" PsychoKat bellowed. "THAT WAS BEFORE I'D EVEN JOINED W.A.R.!"
"Oh, wait!" Pegasus said quietly. "That's not the right list at all!"
"Huh?" the other two asked in unison.
"That's not Race's 'victory' list. It's his 'To Do' list!"
"WHAT???" they both growled.
"Or maybe that's this one," Pegasus said miserably, pulling another thick sheaf of papers out of her pocket. "Or it could be..."
"Wait! How did you get all of these?" PsychoKat asked, looking at the large stacks of paper amassing on the floor of the van.
"Um..." Pegasus stalled, "I... that is, I... um..."
Kateri looked up after seeing a handwritten addition to the "victory" list. "What DID you do, darlin'?"
"Well, it wasn't me so much..." she trailed off.
"Uh huh," PsychoKat nodded, grinning wickedly. "No wonder you were gone so long."
"Well, I mean... I just figured... Anything for the Cause, right, guys?"
Kateri rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. Especially if it's fun."
PsychoKat grinned. "That's my motto, anyway!"
The other two glared at her. "Nevermind," she muttered, looking away.
Heehee. 12/5/98. (c) Peggy & the Peeples in her Head, Unlimited.
This has been a *!PSYCHOKAT!* production.
It's odd. It's random. Flames, Bricks, Candy to rot my teeth/mind/soul to:
<3 Peggy & the Peeples in her Head
"You do know that candy rots your soul."
~me, to a random child buying candy from the Snack Shack, where I worked this
"Oh, shut up."
~random child's response.
"Way to be!"
~my response to random child. They need to learn to stick up for themselves.
If I knew this one's name, there'd be an honorary Minion named after her.
Possibly the punk one, Courtney. :)