Disclaimer/Warning: This has been fermenting in my brain through two weeks of AP cramming. (The fevered brain and lack of sleep might help explain what inspired this thing.) I'm borrowing Bryne, and of course Jer must come home for this little experiment. H-B owns Jessie/Jonny/Hadji, Saban owns Power Rangers, and various record companies own Britney Spears and Sisquo and probably even Beck, and all of their songs. MTV isn't mine, and it owns Carson Daly and TRL.

[Note: I would like to mention that it took effort for me to find the lyrics to this song, that I'm not a Britney fan (this is done for sheer insanity), and the only reason I know so much about the video is that my brother is obsessed with MTV's TRL.]

PsychoKat:[watching MTV] You know, Peggy's never going to make any progress on Jer's stupid thing if we don't help out.

Kateri: Hmm... Not a bad idea.

PsychoKat:Ick, it's Total Request Live. [long pause] I hate Carson Daly.

Kateri: Hmm... I've just had a very bad idea. [evil grin]

PsychoKat:...Oh?

Kateri: A really wicked one.

PsychoKat:[evil grin] Sounds like fun.

Kateri: I'll call it...

Jer: [holding large script] She actually worked while I was gone?

Kateri: Um... yeah. [As Jer tries to read script, she grabs it] I mean, it's no big deal. Just a music video.

Jer:A... music video?

Kateri: You'll be dancing to pre-recorded vocals.

Jer:...Dancing?

PsychoKat:[evil grin] Here's your costume. [hands him bundle of red leather]

Jer:What?

PsychoKat:Get dressed. [shoves him behind a corner]

Jer:[yelps] I'm not wearing this!

PsychoKat:[rolls up sleeves] That's what YOU think! [pounces; scuffle ensues]

[a few minutes later]

Kateri: So, you finally got him into it?

PsychoKat:[smug grin] It wasn't easy. But I think he looks rather fetching!

Kateri: Red is a good color on him. Let's get started, shall we? [lifts megaphone] Oh, Jerrrrry-poooo!

[lights click on to illuminate sound stage, decorated to vaguely resemble a futuristic boiler room as imagined by the designers of Power Rangers™ monsters. Jer stands in the middle, wearing a red leather catsuit which seems to suit him rather nicely, in a scary, Eurotrash-y sort of way.]

Jer:I hate you.

PsychoKat: [blows him a kiss]

Kateri: Okay, music!

[Britney Spears' "Oops! I Did It Again" begins to play over the loudspeakers]

Britney: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Jer:[pales] No. No WAY. [crosses arms] You can't make me.

Kateri: Wanna bet? [evil grin]

Jer:[begins dancing stiffly] What the f--

PsychoKat:[gleefully working remote control] Now, now, Jerry-poo! Don't be profane!

Kateri: We borrowed Bruce Wayne's new Batsuit technology. It's built into your costume.

PsychoKat:[giggles evilly] Moonwalk!

Jer:[moonwalking] You WITCH!

Kateri: Roll cameras!

Britney: I think I did it again

Jer:[struggles against suit and ends up dancing like a robot on smack]

Kateri: I'll take the remote, if you wanna join the backup dancers.

PsychoKat:Great! [hands her the remote]

Britney: 'Cause to lose all my senses

PsychoKat:[reappears next to Jer] Lookin' good there, Sexy!

Jer:Shutup. [gives up and lets the suit guide his dancing]

Britney: Oops!...I did it again

Jer:[accusingly] Peggy had nothing to do with this, did she? It was all your idea. [step, step, thrust, turn]

PsychoKat:[bats lashes innocently] Moi?

Jer:You're right, it wasn't you.

PsychoKat:[step, step, twirl, hip circle, duck] Of course not. It was all Kateri's idea.

Jer:I should have known. [step, kick, twirl, kneel, arm gesture, jump up]

Britney: You see my problem is this

Jer:Of course, I would think-- [step, step, thrust, twist, head turn] she'd at least use something that applied to my situation.

PsychoKat:You mean like Beck's "Loser"?

Jer: [glares]

Britney: I cry, watching the days

PsychoKat:Actually, if you look at it---[dive, roll, jump, hip circle]---from a semi-twisted point of view--

Jer:Which both of you have... [step, kick, jump, step]

PsychoKat:--Right. It almost fits.

Britney: But to lose all my senses

Jer:WHAT? [groan] I can't believe it.

PsyhcoKat: What?

Jer:My life has degenerated to the point at which it fits a Britney Spears song.

PsychoKat:Well, it doesn't fit *exactly.*

Britney: Oops!...I did it again

PsychoKat:On second thought, really the only part that doesn't work is the "again."

Jer:I'll just be sure and burn this tape before Jessie sees it.

Britney: Oops!...You think I'm in love

Jer:[poutily] I'm Not. That. Innocent. [spins]

PsychoKat:I think you're beginning to enjoy this!

Jer: [shrug] I like leather.

Britney: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Kateri: CUT! Time for the speaking parts.

Jer:Speaking parts?

PsychoKat:Yeah, haven't you ever watched the video?

Jer:[blank look]

PsychoKat:[sigh] There's a part where Britney's boyfriend-person gives her the diamond from Titanic. [recites dialogue]

"All aboard!"

"Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have."

"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"

"Yeah, yes it is."

"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end."

"Well baby, I went down and got it for you."

"Oh, you shouldn't have!"

Kateri: But I've edited it a bit for you.

Jer: [sarcastic] Oh, you shouldn't have.

Jessie: Um, hello? Am I in the right place?

Jer: GAH! [looks for a hiding place, then just crouches and covers his head with his hands]

Jessie: Jer? Is that you? [walks over] Nice outfit.

Jer: [stands up] Um, hi, Jessie. [blushing madly]

Jessie: [considers the catsuit] I kinda like it, actually. Leather's good on you. [reaches over and traces his arm through the suit]

Jer: [weird nervous laughter]

Kateri: Cue the dialogue!

Jessie: Um, Jer? Before I go, I want you to hold onto this.

Jer: But wait a minute, isn't this...

Jessie: Yeah, it is.

Jer: But I thought the clasp broke after Jonny got it lost in the ocean yesterday!

Jessie: Well, baby, I got Hadji to fix it for you.

Jer: You... shouldn't have...

[Jessie leaves; dancing resumes]

Britney: Oops!...I did it again

PsychoKat: What was that about your life not being exactly like this song?

Jer: Oh, would you shut UP already?

Britney: Oops!...I did it again

That I'm sent from above

Jer:I'm not that innocent. [strikes a pose]

Kateri: Cut! Bravo! I didn't even have to use the remote after the first minute or so!

Jer: [stares at necklace] Um, I gotta go now. [runs off]

PsychoKat: [wiping forehead] Whew, what a workout!

Kateri: Done in one take! Does that rock, or what?

Bryne W.: [walks in] Hey, I hear you guys are giving away sexy leather costumes! And Jessie likes them!

Kateri: Actually, we're filming music videos. [sweetly] Would you like to volunteer?

Bryne: [edges away] [mutters] Something in that smile scares me... deeply...

PsychoKat:That's called your instinct for self-preservation.

Bryne: What?

PsychoKat:[smiles sweetly] Nothing.

Bryne: Um... So, you'll let me be in a music video?

Kateri: [evil grin] Sure thing. How about... "Thong Song"? By Sisqo?

Bryne: [visions of scantily clad women, especially Jessie, dance in his head] Sure!

Kateri: Okay, Psyche's got your costume.

Bryne: ...Costume?

PsychoKat:[with a manic evil grin, she holds up... a very, very small men's thong]

There, see? At least I worked on SOMETHING. [grins, ducks wet sponges] More serious things to come.

<3 Peggy & the Peeples in her Head

PsychoKat:Let... me... seeeeeeeeee that THO-O-ONG!!!

Kateri: Isn't he a little... OLD for something that skimpy?

Bryne: GAH! I'll kill you BOTH!! [lunges]

Jessie: Oooooh, looking good, Bryne!

Bryne: [blushes] Um... Hi, Jessie...!

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